Size 7 1/2 Ladies Golf Shoes

We closed up our Palm Desert place for the summer. I drove down to Palm Desert the Thursday before Memorial Day for a weekend of golf and packing. I drove back to Salt Lake on Memorial Day and Sharon arrived back in Salt Lake yesterday.

On the Sunday before I left for Salt Lake, I packed my car. I hung a few golf shirts on a rack in the back seat; a couple of pair of shorts joined them. Of course I packed my golf clubs, a couple of new boxes of balls and a few books. I made room for some wine and boxes of food from the pantry. I thought that I made good use of the space in my car so I relaxed for the evening.

The Lovely Sharon told me she would check out my packing job and if there was any room left she might carefully put in a couple of pairs of her golf shoes. She has about 120 pairs of golf shoes. I thought, there is not much room left in my car so what harm would there be in including a couple of pairs of her golf shoes.

I got up early on Memorial Day to drive to Salt Lake. Eager to hit the road before sunup, I approached my car. It seemed a little more cramped than when I had finished my packing the night before but it was early and the light wasn't that good. The Lovely Sharon walked me to my car and gave me a kiss and a hug. I wouldn’t see her for a few days so I gazed in her eyes to say goodbye. As I looked romantically at her, she said,

“Don’t open your back doors before you reach Salt Lake.”

I asked why? She quietly said, “Oh no reason, but just be careful.”

I drove back to Salt Lake arriving about 6:00 pm. After getting a bottle of water from the fridge, I started my unpacking of the car. I opened the back door on the passenger side and for the next three minutes I watched ladies golf shoes pour out of my backseat onto the driveway. I just stood there in almost a religious awe as size 7 ½ ladies golf spikes flowed out of the car, like sand being dumped on a driveway by a dump truck. As the size of the pile diminished in the car and grew on the driveway, I had to step a couple of paces back so as to not become entombed. I have seen some movies where people were buried alive and I did not want to be the subject of a future film so I just backed up. The shoes continue to flow, albeit a little slower than the initial velocity. They were red, black, blue, white (make that numerous pairs of a wide variety of shades of white), two tone, three tones, sandal types. The variety was staggering.

When at last the rumbling of the cascade of shoes stopped, there was an eerie silence in the neighborhood. It seemed that even the birds were quiet. Realizing I was now out of harms way, I set my bottle of water down, and began the cleanup. I picked up each of the 164 shoes which make up 82 pairs of golf shoes that were piled in the driveway. I took the shoes into the garage where I built a golf shoe pyramid which would welcome the Lovely Sharon home.

Moral of the story: Next time I will hide my car keys when I am done packing the car.