Stinky Criminals

Consider the following news article from AOL.Com (it was also in USA Today)

“HONOLULU (Sept. 2) -- Stinky city bus riders soon could get soaked. The Honolulu City Council is considering a bill that would impose up to a $500 fine and/or up to six months in jail for public transit passengers convicted of being too smelly. Other prohibitions in the bill include spitting, urinating or being intoxicated.”

Now this is quite a teaser. You have to read a news article that starts out like this. I guess it is a good rule that prohibits urinating on the bus, but the stinky part of the rule seems fraught with issues.

First, it makes you wonder who enforces this rule, who would want the job to enforce the rule and exactly what qualifications do you need in order to get the job. I suppose you must have a nose and must not stink yourself.

Second, how does one conclude that a particular odor is a stink rather than an exotic (or erotic) acceptable musk smell? What if your odor is acceptable in China or Nephi, Utah but not in Honolulu? If this rule was applicable in Provo, Utah it is likely that any smoker or imbiber of alcoholic beverages would be fined or put in jail for six months. Picture the following Provo, Utah jail scene where three inmates are talking about their crimes:

          The first one says “I robbed a bank and took two women hostage”. Second one says “I killed a guy that was irritating me at a bar”. Third one says, I smoked a cigar at the golf course and then rode the bus home”.

Third, if you go to jail and then decide to take a shower in jail, say, after about two months, do they let you out of jail?

Fourth, what if you did not originally stink but you sat by another passenger who did stink, he gets off the bus before you but now you smell like him, so you now stink. Oh boy, $500 fine or six months in jail.

If this rule were in effect in Sandy, Utah, almost every man in my Thursday golf group would be a border line or actual criminal.

I assume they don’t need a new rule to prohibit urination on the bus. It is probably already illegal.  If not, then it would be ok to urinate on the bus until the rule was duly adopted by the city council.  Something tells me this stinky rule should be reconsidered. Maybe you just throw the stink pot off the bus.

I am leaving to take a shower