I have been taking a bunch of pills over the last four or five weeks to treat several different issues. I think the pills, or the combination of the pills, are turning me into a Milquetoast. (Definition: A milquetoast is a weak, ineffectual person. It is derived from the character Caspar Milquetoast from the comic strip The Timid Soul.) If you are silently thanking me for providing the definition; you are welcome.
On Thursday I played golf with my regular group. After the round I realized that I did not insult, belittle, or harass anyone in my group. I complimented my fellow players on good shots and commiserated with them on bad shots. When I realized this, I was abhorred over my lack of rude behavior. Although the fellows in the group have a strong bond and love each other, we are not known for being polite to each other on the golf course. But here I was being nice to everyone for the entire 18 holes. It almost makes me ill to think about. I am surprised someone didn’t ask me to turn in my Man Card.
After golf, we paid and collected our bets. Instead of staying for the Club’s Thursday Evening Home Style Cooking dinner of chicken fried steaks, gravy, mashed potatoes and what have you, I ordered a salad to take home which I ate while drinking a glass of ice water. As I ate dinner I didn’t watch the news or ESPN, I watched Entertainment Tonight. After dinner, I straightened up the kitchen including pushing my chair to the table. If the Lovely Sharon reads this bog entry I expect her to pat me on the head when she gets home because she hates it when I leave my chair out from the table. For her it’s like finger nails on a black board. For me it’s a strategic placement of the chair in a way that only looks haphazard.
When all of this is done, I descended down into the Bud Cave, to watch TV. There is a Nebraska- Missouri football game on but I end up watching the movie “27 Dresses” about a perpetual bride’s maid.
During the movie, I gather a bunch of cords, instructions and ear pieces etc relating to several electronic devices such as Ipods, cameras, phone’s, blue tooth headsets, etc which are in a tangled mess in a drawer in my coffee room. (Yes the Bud Cave has its own windowless room that has a sink and storage shelves, clothes hamper etc where I make coffee every day. Its perfect. I clean it about every six or eight weeks. The Lovely Sharon cleans it every time she walks in the coffee room. Each time muttering and shaking her head.) But I digress, back to the tangled mess issue. I take this tangled mess of stufffffff and separate each item into a pile. Camera stuff here, Ipod stuff here, you get the picture. I am embarrassed to tell you what I did next. Sharon is not home, she is in Palm Desert. The neighbors cannot see me. No one is looking. Only I and the Almighty know what I did next. I put each pile into its own separate baggy and placed each baggy neatly and orderly into the drawer. I am pathetic.
What’s going on here? Has the combination of blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol pills turned me into someone who could be a host on a TLC channel home makeover show? Frankly I am nervous. I fear that I may start contemplating window coverings or area rugs.
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