You Gotta Read This

I read a lot of online news from a variety of sources. I read political articles, financial articles, humorous articles, sport articles, entertainment articles, and anything else you can think of. What makes you click on an online article to read? Most times it’s the title, right? You gotta have a catchy title to attract a reader. Here are some titles that piqué your interest:

Dolly Parton & Jessica Simpson Talk Big Boobs (Huffington Post 11/3/09). Viagra or no Viagra, there are very few men who could pass up this article. One hopes that by reading the story it would be like talking to an archeologist about the Egyptian Pyramids; the secrets of the ages to be unveiled.

The 15 Stupid Products of All Time (Huffington Post 11/3/09). You have to see how many of these products are sitting in your cupboard right now. The Lovely Sharon and I had a slight disagreement last Sunday over whether I should buy Doggy Ice Cream for the Neighbor’s Dog. She won; I lost so we didn’t buy the stuff. But when I saw the product in the regular ice cream section of the grocery store, I thought, “Hey that’s a good idea”. The Lovely Sharon rolled her eyes and said “no way buster”. I wonder if Doggy Ice cream is on this list

Foo Fighters Taking a Break (CNN.Com 11/3/09). I must say I don’t know what a Foo Fighter is. I know what a fighter is but I don’t know what a Foo is. I know what a Fool is (hey don’t even go there; I don’t need some smart-alecky response like “I bet you do”). I have heard of Kun Foo. Maybe it was a misprint and should have been Food Fighter. I was in a number of food fights in high school. Well I guess I better check that one out.

Loon Strips Naked at Brooklyn Polling Place (New York Daily News 11/04/09). I am guessing that they are not talking about the lovely water fowl.

11 Year Old Gives Birth After Going into Labor at Her Wedding (New York Daily News 11/04/09). The only thing I am surprised at here is that this wasn’t about a Utah couple.

Gotti judge on squabbling jurors: Let them eat Twizzlers! (New York Daily News 11/04/09. Here is part of the article:

“Here's a new twist on keeping jurors from each other's throats: Stick a few Twizzlers in their mouths.

The judge in John A. (Junior) Gotti's trial opted for licorice over the lash Tuesday to keep his cranky jury in line, providing the panel with a big bucket of red Twizzlers. The sweets - 105 individually wrapped strawberry-flavored licorice twists - drew smiles and chuckles from the sometimes-sour panel.

"Why Twizzlers?" asked Federal Judge Kevin Castel, posing the question on everybody's lips inside the lower Manhattan courtroom.

First, he said, Twizzlers were tremendous tension breakers: "When you have a Twizzler in your mouth, you can't have a serious conversation."

Second, Castel continued, the red-colored licorice "are kinda sweet ... pleasant tasting. They put you in a good mood."

Finally, Castel noted, there were two ways to eat the Twizzler: Sucking on the licorice, like a baby with a pacifier, or tearing it into small pieces and gobbling it down.
Either way, he noted, the Twizzlers were there to candy-coat the panel's jangled nerves. "If you feel frustrated, you now have something to take that frustration out on," Castel said. Juror No. 1 then carried the red-topped bucket of candy into the jury room.

I love the news