Happy New Year, New Cactus and Suggestion Box

It has been awhile since I last posted. In fact I received a call from my friend Kent today who wondered when I was going to post again. Although Kent is a dear friend and a wonderful fellow, he no doubt has low standards in reading material. But coincidentally I had just finished this essay.

I spent two weeks in Palm Desert with the Lovely Sharon and now I am back in the inversion gloom of a Salt Lake City winter, trying to catch up on matters that have piled up on my desk. When I arrived home Saturday night, I was pleased to see that all of my indoor plants had survived two weeks with no water. Rudy, my rubber plant that I have mentioned in earlier blogs seemed particularly glad to see me. When I walked in the house, he was wearing a Frank Sinatra 1940’s hat and was humming New York, New York. Ruby, a female rubber plant I brought home from Nebraska as sort of a mail order bride for Rudy, did not look good. She had a number of fallen leaves around her. Before you call me crazy about naming these plants please consider that the names were given to the plants by the Lovely Sharon, not by me. For 7 months of the year, I am the only human at my house so my plants, guitars, microwave, computers have become, at least in my mind, animated so as to provide me with a little interaction. OK, after rereading the last sentence, I agree you can call me crazy.

I brought a new cactus arrangement home from the desert that I have not named yet so I need to figure a good name out. Here is his (or her) picture, if you have a suggestion for a suitable name, email me or leave your suggestion on this blog. The plant looks kind of fru fru so the name should not be something plain like Bob, it should have a little pazazz. How about Elliot? That kind of looks like it fits.

The Holiday Season in the desert was nice, lots of golf, time with the Lovely Sharon and Palm Desert friends, movies, and a lovely Christmas Day church service. Some of the days were cooler than normal but all-in-all the weather was nice.

Yesterday, I wrote a check and dated it January 4, 2010. Can you believe it is 2010? That sounds unbelievable to me. In another 3 months I will have been practicing law for 33 years. That makes me old. I remember in second grade that when I turned the year 1961 upside down, it still read 1961. Try it. Turn your computer upside down or stand on your head, you will see that I am right. That amazed me back then, and I am embarrassed to report it still amazes me today. Yes, my amazement threshold is pretty low.

Even though I have been married twice and I have been around women my entire life, I am still amazed that I do not have a clue about them. Over the holidays we played golf with a married couple who are our good friends. After Sharon made a very good putt, the man half of the couple praised her by saying “Nice putt Kiddo”. The woman half of the couple whom I adore, turned to her husband and said, “How could you call Sharon “Kiddo”. No woman ever wants to be referred to as Kiddo, it is an insult to refer to any woman as Kiddo”. The man was surprised at her response. I was surprised at the response but now we both know something new. Sharon hates it when I use the word “hunsky”. Like when I am 100 yards from the pin and I say I am out about a “hunsky”. When I say that word, she hates and she lets me know that she hates it. So now I have to self edit myself when I out 100 yards from the pin. Once I looked at Sharon and notice her hair was a little messed up. Trying to be helpful, I asked her if she wanted to borrow my comb. I cannot tell you how much that was the wrong thing to ask. That remark cost me jewelry. So women amaze me in so many ways every day.

When you are with men you don’t self edit your comments, you just say what you want. If you buddy hits a bad golf shot you don’t say “oh how unfortunate”, rather you say something like, “you pathetic sap that was the worst *#*3#** shot I have ever seen”. I am pretty confident that I would never say that to a woman

If you have read this blog before you know that I have written a fair amount about my relationship with the Lovely Sharon. I have written about the “Boss” and a number of other matters. So you understand that I have limited input in what goes on in our relationship. I have received many emails from the men readers of this blog who have indicated privately that they are in the same boat as me and that they have limited say in what goes on in their relationships. One friend, Bruce, asserted that basically we were all married to the same woman. His assertion rings true to me. I have come up with an idea that will give me and other men an opportunity to have some input in our marriages. I think an anonymous suggestion box might be the answer. Think about it. A nice walnut or oak box with a slot in the top and the words “Suggestion Box” written on the side. I could put the box in the kitchen so Sharon has easy access to it. When I get an idea or I want to do something that has been vetoed by the Lovely Sharon (which is a lot of things), I can write it down on a 3 x 5 index card, not sign my name and deposit it in the box. Every so often Sharon would open the box take out what ever cards were in the box and read the suggestions. This would all be done anonymously so, if she didn’t like the suggestion, she wouldn’t know who made the suggestion. Just like in politics, I would have deniability. I could say someone broke into the house and made the suggestion. I am pretty sure this is a great idea, will work and will let me have meaningful input in what goes on in married life. For you guys try it yourself at your house and let me know how it works out for you.

By the way, the Lovely Sharon had an eagle on the par four 9th hole of Ironwood’s South course today. I am continually amazed at her golfing proficiency.

To each of you I wish you a wonderful 2010.