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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Ten Step Plan to the Golf Course

I spent last weekend in Palm desert with the Lovely Sharon. I had not seen her for a couple of weeks so it was nice to spend time together. We played golf, visited with friends and had a couple of dinners at the Club. The weather was beautiful. Since I have not posted much about the Lovely Sharon for awhile, it was nice that a couple of events give me fodder for a blog.

Early one morning, (I think it was Friday) I was decided to go for walk down the famous shopping street, El Paseo. I put my walking shoes on, got my Ipod ready and was preparing to leave for a solo walk. Sharon said she would go with me but she was still in her jammies and I was ready to get moving. I said I would just go alone and would be back in an hour. We were standing in the garage as I prepared to leave. Since I had not seen her for about two weeks, I gave her a hug, looked in her eyes and said something romantic. She looked in my eyes. Then she looked above my head to the garage door opener. In response to my romantic comment she replied “Can you get that cob web down from the ceiling”. Not quite a romantic response but the cob web needed to be removed so I removed it with a long duster. Cosmo magazine always prints articles about saying romantic or sexy things to your spouse to keep the spice in your marriage. I am pretty certain that “Can you get that cob web down from the ceiling” is not one of the suggested sentences. It was a good thing she looked so cute in her jammies.

The next morning we had a tee time with another couple. I wanted to get to the course about 40 minutes early to practice and loosen up. Sharon plays golf often and does not need to warm up much to be flexible and to play well. In fact she seldom hits balls on the range. So I told her that I would drive the golf cart to the course and she could come over later in the car. She looked lovely in her golf shirt and black Capri pants. She was still barefoot as I said goodbye. Before I could leave, she said she would go with me and that she “only needed to get her golf shoes”. Although I said ok, I pretty much figured this was not going to be a 30 second delay while she selected a pair of golf shoes from the golf shoe closet in the garage. I was sitting in the golf cart while I watched the Lovely Sharon select her golf shoes. It went something like this:

Step 1. She opened the closet and looked at her 120 pairs of golf shoes.

Step 2. She picked a pair up looked at it and set it back in the closet.

Step 3. She picked another pair looked at it, set it back and then another and another until the proper pair of shoes was selected.

Step 4. Then she said she had to get a pair of golf socks so she went back in the house for about 8 minutes. I asked her what took so long and she set she had to select a pair of socks. She must have 200 pairs of white golf ankle high golf socks, all of which basically look identical to me, but it took a while to select an acceptable pair.

Step 5. She finally came back into the garage, where I was now slumped over the golf cart steering wheel. She put the carefully selected shoes and socks in the cart. She normally puts her shoes and socks on while we drive in the cart to the course. I thought “okay now we are ready to go”. We were only about 12 minutes behind schedule and I still had time to hit some balls on the range. Little did I know.

Step 6. She now went to the garage closet where she stores her golf visors. She has almost as many visors as shoes, because they have to match her outfit. She spent a couple of minutes looking through her orderly stacks of visors (the Lovely Sharon is very orderly) and selected the ideal one.

Step 7. Now I was certain we were ready to leave. Wrong. She now went to the closet where she stores her golf jackets. It only took about a minute to get the correct light golf jacket and now we were really ready to leave for the course.

Step 8. We were now both sitting in the golf cart and I backed the cart out of the garage into the driveway. I was ready to hit the remote closure button for the garage door when Sharon said “wait”. She got out of the cart, stood in the driveway and looked around. It was sunny, and although earlier in the morning there had been clouds, at this time there was not a cloud in the sky. It was beautiful. The grass was green, the flowers were colorful.

Step 9. She looked at me and said, “I didn’t think it was going to be so nice, I should have worn a golf skirt instead of capri’s. I had a really cute one selected but I decided to wear the capri’s instead.” She then said it was okay she would keep the capri’s on because she knew I really wanted to get going. I looked at her she looked at me and although her words said, she would wear the capri’s her eyes said she wanted to change into a golf skirt, which I new would  in turn would result in selecting a different golf shirt, different shoes, and a different visor. I said “ok go change”.

Step 10. She hustled back into the house, changed clothes, came back into the garage and quickly retrieved different shoes and visor and off we went.

The entire process that started with “I only need to get a pair of golf shoes” took about 15 minutes, not bad. We got to the course in time. I warmed up and, for me I played pretty well. The Lovely Sharon played great and looked even better. I can tell you that when I am in Salt Lake and she is in Palm Desert, these little detours don’t happen, and you know what? I miss them.

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