I started writing this blog in March 2009. I had been reading blogs, political blogs, legal issues blogs, economic blogs, humor blogs, golf blogs, personal musing blogs, blogs of all sorts. I wondered how you set up a blog. I wondered if it cost to establish a blog. I wondered if I would have anything of interest to write and I wondered if anyone would read what I wrote. When I first started I found myself to be self conscious and self editing. That has evolved to now; where I just write. I get an idea and I just start writing. Some entries might be adequate others are not. But what has been a pleasure for me, are the comments I have received from readers.
Although you can leave a comment with directly on this blog most comments have come from readers emailing me directly. If you want to leave a comment directly on this blog, you click on the word “Comment” written in gold at the bottom of each blog entry. For example, look at dated February 24, 2010. At the bottom of the blog printed in gold letter it reads “1 Comment”. If you click on the work “Comment” up comes an empty white box that is entitled “Post a Comment”. You write your comment in that box. Below the comment box is a smaller box entitled “Comment As”. If you click that box, several options come up. You can leave a comment anonymously, you can leave your name, you can leave your name and email address (your URL) etc.
The Lovely Sharon has left comments directly on this blog. My ex –wife has left comments directly on the blog . The Lovely Sharon’s ex-husband’s wife has left a comment directly on the blog. So have friends, co-workers and in a couple of instances total strangers. It is easy to do. If you want to do so, please feel free. You can criticize me, agree with me, or add some observation of your own.
Most comments I have received on various blog entries have been in the form of direct emails to me and not as comments posted directly on the blog. Some of these have been very funny. Some have corrected an error I made (which unfortunately I am bound to do), some say something in support of the Lovely Sharon, some say something written has touched them, or made them laugh or raised their ire either toward me or something I have written. I really do appreciate comments.
In the last week or some I have had the following email comments on different posts:
“I was having a downer day, feeling blue, the post about the 65 year old naked woman made me laugh.”
Regarding my post of February 24, 2010, my friend Rick wrote me “ I can't believe you singled out blued eyed, blond haired Swedes. Fortunately the blond has turned to a "lighter blond" that many mistake for gray. Maybe with the gray I won't be profiled and inappropriately groped/frisked. Although if she is a blond haired Swede the groping could be enjoyable.”
After reading my posting about Dentist Glenn from Minnesota, my friend Norm wrote me an email offering a bribe if I did not blog about him. This maybe a good way to supplement my income. Being paid by people not to blog about them. It is like the government paying farmers not to grow certain crops. It is like the government bailing out big banks with cash so these same banks can not make loans to small business and citizens. That leaves more money for executive bonuses. Very nice.
In a recent post, I mistakenly referred to late night talk show host Craig Ferguson as Irish. He is of Scottish heritage but recently has become a US citizen. My friend Dennis wrote “ Bud, I couldn't post this on your blog for some reason, but Craig Ferguson is Scottish not Irish. They could start a war over stuff like that........oh they did?.oops!!!”. So after not receiving an email from Dennis for months I get an email correcting my geneological error. After reading Dennis’ email I corrected the error.
My point in this blog entry is to encourage readers to feel comfortable in responding to my writings either in an email to me or directly on this blog, anonymously or with their name attached.
If I don’t like what you say, I will of course put a dead fish in your mailbox or, if you recall the movie “The Godfather”, you may find yourself waking up with a bloody horse head in your bed.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Dentist Glenn From Minnesota
My friend Glenn. A retired dentist, a widower, a very good golfer, quick to tell a joke. Glenn is a reader of this blog and at a party last night he begged me, I mean begged me like a dog whining for a piece of a pork chop, to write a blog about him. What am I gonna do? When your dog is begging for a piece of that pork chop (America’s other white meat), what do you do? I will tell you what you do. You cut a piece off that pork chop, you give the little creature a bite under the table and then you pat the mongrel’s head. So Glenn, here is your little bite of pork chop. Now quit your whining and Man Up. Furthermore, in exchange for a mention of you in this blog, a blog centered on golf and life with the Lovely Sharon, I expect you to quit making fun of my golf swing, my golf game and my general and total lack of talent in anything golf related. That, my dear friend, is the quid pro quo for me writing this essay about you.
Glenn is a retired dentist. He is not a retired spy. He is not a retired heart surgeon, explorer, race car driver or inventor. Let’s face it, Glenn spent 35 years with his hands in other people’s mouths. I have been racking my brain to figure how to make this entry exciting or even just interesting. It’s tough. Have you ever read a biography of a dentist? If I am at the book store, do I buy the biography of Mother Teresa or the biography of that fabulous dentist from Minnesota? If I only have $30 which one do I buy? Let me think about that for a while. Right. Has a dentist every written his memoirs? If so, what would be the opening page?
I remember the day well. I removed my face shield, looked at Frank solemnly and said ‘Frank in order to promote better oral health, you need to floss more often.
3- "You sound like you know more than I do"
4- "You're wrong, but I'll make you feel better about it"
5- "If not more"
6- "Damn Wisconsin Packer Cheeseheads"
7- "You're annoying"
8- "And would you like fries with that?" You Betcha
9- "This weather could be worst." You Betcha
10- "...therefore those chemicals cannot be mixed." You Betcha
11- "Our neighbor is one of them gay guys, I think, don't cha know." You Betcha
12- "We got at least three feet of snow." You Betcha
13- "Eloo der, I'm frum Wiscaaansin." You Betcha
14- "Oh my god, I was like, no way, and he was like, way." You Betcha
So Glenn has the You Betcha thing going for him, that’s one thing. Wait, that might be the only thing he has going for him. So with that said I will conclude this essay about my friend Glenn. He has now been immortalized in this blog. He will forever hereafter be known as “Dentist Glenn from Minnesota”. He will now be searchable through Google just like searching for Sarah Palin or searching for the phrase “how to avoid the plague” or the classic search question, “how to get sheep blood out of living room curtains”.
Who knows, Dentist Glenn from Minnesota may become a continuing character on this site like the Lovely Sharon, the Neighbor’s Dog, my Son Alex, or my rants against “Dick” (at least I think his name is Dick) Cheney. Let me think about that.
To my friend, my compadre, to Dentist Glenn from Minnesota, I end with, I love you buddy and I am glad you are my friend.
Glenn is a retired dentist. He is not a retired spy. He is not a retired heart surgeon, explorer, race car driver or inventor. Let’s face it, Glenn spent 35 years with his hands in other people’s mouths. I have been racking my brain to figure how to make this entry exciting or even just interesting. It’s tough. Have you ever read a biography of a dentist? If I am at the book store, do I buy the biography of Mother Teresa or the biography of that fabulous dentist from Minnesota? If I only have $30 which one do I buy? Let me think about that for a while. Right. Has a dentist every written his memoirs? If so, what would be the opening page?
I remember the day well. I removed my face shield, looked at Frank solemnly and said ‘Frank in order to promote better oral health, you need to floss more often.
Frank, responded ‘mmnm mmnm mmnm mmnm’ (remember my fingers were in Frank’s mouth so I couldn’t quite understand what he was saying).
When I removed my fingers from Frank’s mouth he looked at me with tears in his eyes, said, ‘Thanks Doc’.
Obviously a job well done, but there was no time to revel in my glories from a first class teeth cleaning, I had work to do. I immediately bolted to the dental chair in the adjacent cubicle, to take care of an ailing Mrs. Johnson. We worked on her sore molar until I was sweating like a stevedore moving freight on a ship.
Finished with Mrs. Johnson, I wiped my brow, tired yet satisfied and announced to my staff, “Its 2:30 and I think we are done for today. I am going golfing”.
I love the dentist joke that I have told a million times. Each time I tell this wonderful joke, I laugh like a hyenna and the Lovely Sharon rolls her eyes thinking ‘not again’. In fact the Lovely Sharon rolls her eyes almost any time I say anything. You know the joke, Glenn’s wife wrote a book entitled “My husband is a dentist and my life with him is filling.” I told the joke last night. I was the only one who laughed.
See what I mean? There is not much excitement in the literary possibilities of the life of a dentist.
Ok, so I thought maybe I could write something about Minnesota, Glenn’s beloved home state. Then I recalled a conversation I had with a fellow named Gary one night in 1980 in Kona, Hawaii. After a hard day of legal work (please no snide remarks, we lawyers do work hard), Gary and I were sitting on a lanai drinking wine, watching dusk arrive in Kona and the sun set on the Pacific. It was a beautiful mystic night with vivid colors, a musical background of waves crashing and sea birds singing. To this day I can close my eyes and still feel what I felt that night. I can remember our conversation as though it was yesterday. After a couple bottles of wine, Gary, a native from Minnesota who had moved to the island, gone native and was sort of like Spicoli in the film “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” (kinda like “ohhh dude did you see that wave?”) said two things to me:
1. We should start a venture to mine the moon. We could mine ore on the moon and catapult it through space to Earth in zero gravity, have it refined and then sell it. We could make a fortune.
2. If God had intended humans to live in Minnesota, man would have been born with fur.
After these two amazingly intelligent and insightful statements, I bid adieu to Gary and turned in for the night.
So I am struggling with the Minnesota connection for an interesting essay about Glenn. I have not been to the land of 10,000 lakes but I hear it is beautiful. I like Garrison Keilor’s “Prairie Home Companion” radio show. One of my law partner’s is from Minnesota, however since he was not born with fur he moved to Utah. I know that former baseball great and Idaho native Harmon Killebrew played based for the Minnesota Twins. Oh yeah, I just remembered; the phrase “You Betcha” was invented in Minnesota. This invention rivals the invention of penicillin in terms of usefulness to mankind. This two word phrase, “You Betcha”, is a wonderful, multi-purpose two word response applicable in almost any situation. Consider the following uses of You Betcha that I found at Urban Dictionary.com:
You Betcha - A Minnesotan phrase that can be translated into the following...
1- "Yes"
2- "I agree" 3- "You sound like you know more than I do"
4- "You're wrong, but I'll make you feel better about it"
5- "If not more"
6- "Damn Wisconsin Packer Cheeseheads"
7- "You're annoying"
8- "And would you like fries with that?" You Betcha
9- "This weather could be worst." You Betcha
10- "...therefore those chemicals cannot be mixed." You Betcha
11- "Our neighbor is one of them gay guys, I think, don't cha know." You Betcha
12- "We got at least three feet of snow." You Betcha
13- "Eloo der, I'm frum Wiscaaansin." You Betcha
14- "Oh my god, I was like, no way, and he was like, way." You Betcha
So Glenn has the You Betcha thing going for him, that’s one thing. Wait, that might be the only thing he has going for him. So with that said I will conclude this essay about my friend Glenn. He has now been immortalized in this blog. He will forever hereafter be known as “Dentist Glenn from Minnesota”. He will now be searchable through Google just like searching for Sarah Palin or searching for the phrase “how to avoid the plague” or the classic search question, “how to get sheep blood out of living room curtains”.
Who knows, Dentist Glenn from Minnesota may become a continuing character on this site like the Lovely Sharon, the Neighbor’s Dog, my Son Alex, or my rants against “Dick” (at least I think his name is Dick) Cheney. Let me think about that.
To my friend, my compadre, to Dentist Glenn from Minnesota, I end with, I love you buddy and I am glad you are my friend.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
World News and Comments Thereon
OK, this blog is not humorous. I am getting a few things off my chest, good and bad. Here goes.
CBS golf announcer David Feherty, a former European Tour player and a native of Ireland has become a U.S citizen. Congrats David. David an avid bike rider and has been hit by cars a couple of times while riding his bike. He once quipped that if he was riding a stationary bike, he would probably be hit by a stationary car. Late Late Night talk show host Craig Ferguson, born in Scotlan became a U.S citizen a year or two ago. I find it telling that despite all of our problems and all of our disputes, when given a chance, many non U.S. citizens want to become U.S. citizens.
Toyota has a TV add out now that tries to combat all the bad publicity of car recalls relating to brakes and gas petals on Toyota vehicles The add says “80% of the Toyota’s sold in the last 20 years are still on the road.” Could that be because those same vehicles are equipped with brakes that don’t stop and gas petals that are stuck open, and there is no way for a driver to stop a Toyota and get it off the road? It does not seem like this is the best slogan for Toyota at this time.
I have watched more Olympic coverage this year than any other Olympics except for the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics. I have been to Vancouver three times and believe it to be one of the most beautiful cities anywhere. A couple of summers ago the Lovely Sharon stayed a couple of days in Vancouver and a couple of days in Whistler. Incredibly beautiful. I hope to return some day.
ESPN TV and radio personality Tony Kornhieser made disparaging remarks about ESPN anchor Hannah Storm’s clothes a couple of days ago. Kornheiser called what the ESPN anchor wore a “horrifying outfit” with “red go-go boots” and a skirt that was “way too short for somebody her age.” He added: “She’s what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.” He also said her shirt was too tight and made her look "like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body”. He made these remarks on his four hour sports talk radio show but he got suspended for two weeks from his 30 minute ESPN TV show called “Pardon the Interruption”. These talk shows guys can blast, take shots at, criticize or make fun of athletes, politicians, entertainers or call in listeners all day long, but if they criticize one of their own they get suspended. Further, and I know I will not be popular among many of you for saying this, but I believe if he criticized a man for what he was wearing, there would have been no controversy or no suspension. If he said an ESPN male anchor looked like a pimp or his trousers looked like they were holding in a canned ham, you know he would not have been suspended.
We live in a society where people want your head if you say something they don’t want you to say. Remember a couple of weeks ago when Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s Chief of Staff called some people “retards”. Sarah Palin wanted him to be fired for his insensitivity. She railed on this for several days. Then when right wing comedian Rush Limbaugh used the word “retard” not only did she not demand that he be fired from his daily comedy radio show, she said it was ok for him to use the word retard because he was use it in connection with satire. Oh I get it, if Rahm Emanuel had used the word in a satiric context that would be ok with Diva Sarah? If Rush had called the Democrats in the Congress retards do you really think Diva Sarah would demand Rush be fired? I think not.
Tiger Woods behavior was outrageous. It was wrong. It violated commitments he made to his wife and family. It has hurt him financially. It has turned him to an internet joke. But, I disagree with those that complain of the televised statement he made a couple of Fridays ago. People complain that he limited the press, that he took no questions, that he looked scripted, that he looked stiff, that his body language was wrong, that he read his comments or that he didn’t cry. Where was his wife? He wasn’t sincere. I have heard and read these criticisms since his statement. There has been talk show after talk show discussions saying he should have done this or said that. They have expressed doubts about his sincerity. Some journalists boycotted the event because they couldn’t ask questions. We live in a reality TV show society. We are in people’s bedrooms; we are with them in their most private movements. We see them naked, we see them argue, and we see them cry. We hear them talk in foul language. We are a society of voyeurs. We want the dirty details. We don’t want just an apology from Tiger, we want an apology and we want all the dirty details. Well, it is his life, his family and he owes the public no details. If you don’t believe his was sincere, who cares. I don’t care. If he plays golf again and plays well, great. If he doesn’t, my life is not adversely affected. I can tell you that I am glad I don’t have to justify the actions of my life to the press or the public. I have made plenty of errors in life and will undoubtedly make more. I am betting so have you and so have the press members who are so up in arms. I would like those in the press who want details (these “journalists” are by and large public figures themselves), to print details of their own private behavior, their own peccadilloes.
I know I have blogged about this before, but I still don’t understand why the US government is supposed opposed to profiling at U.S. airports. If you are a cop and you see a guy in a black turtle neck and a ski mask at 3:00 am walking around in a neighborhood, you know the cop is gonna ask him what he is doing, demand ID and maybe even frisk him. Why, because he fits the profile of someone who may be up to no good. I certainly don’t believe all Muslins are bad just as I don’t believe all Christians are good, but for heaven’s sake how can we not pay additional attention to the very ethnic or religious group that contains the elements of those who are terrorists who do want to destroy us. If we started getting a lot of blonde haired, blue eyed Swedish terrorists, then we ought to be profiling that group.
Many of you who know me, know I like to be light hearted and hopefully, kind. But I am very tired of double standards, political correctness, and to a reality show mentality of the society we live in.
Ok, I just took a breath. The next essay on this blog will be on the lighter side. Feel free to hammer me for any or all of this entry.
CBS golf announcer David Feherty, a former European Tour player and a native of Ireland has become a U.S citizen. Congrats David. David an avid bike rider and has been hit by cars a couple of times while riding his bike. He once quipped that if he was riding a stationary bike, he would probably be hit by a stationary car. Late Late Night talk show host Craig Ferguson, born in Scotlan became a U.S citizen a year or two ago. I find it telling that despite all of our problems and all of our disputes, when given a chance, many non U.S. citizens want to become U.S. citizens.
Toyota has a TV add out now that tries to combat all the bad publicity of car recalls relating to brakes and gas petals on Toyota vehicles The add says “80% of the Toyota’s sold in the last 20 years are still on the road.” Could that be because those same vehicles are equipped with brakes that don’t stop and gas petals that are stuck open, and there is no way for a driver to stop a Toyota and get it off the road? It does not seem like this is the best slogan for Toyota at this time.
I have watched more Olympic coverage this year than any other Olympics except for the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics. I have been to Vancouver three times and believe it to be one of the most beautiful cities anywhere. A couple of summers ago the Lovely Sharon stayed a couple of days in Vancouver and a couple of days in Whistler. Incredibly beautiful. I hope to return some day.
ESPN TV and radio personality Tony Kornhieser made disparaging remarks about ESPN anchor Hannah Storm’s clothes a couple of days ago. Kornheiser called what the ESPN anchor wore a “horrifying outfit” with “red go-go boots” and a skirt that was “way too short for somebody her age.” He added: “She’s what I would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.” He also said her shirt was too tight and made her look "like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body”. He made these remarks on his four hour sports talk radio show but he got suspended for two weeks from his 30 minute ESPN TV show called “Pardon the Interruption”. These talk shows guys can blast, take shots at, criticize or make fun of athletes, politicians, entertainers or call in listeners all day long, but if they criticize one of their own they get suspended. Further, and I know I will not be popular among many of you for saying this, but I believe if he criticized a man for what he was wearing, there would have been no controversy or no suspension. If he said an ESPN male anchor looked like a pimp or his trousers looked like they were holding in a canned ham, you know he would not have been suspended.
We live in a society where people want your head if you say something they don’t want you to say. Remember a couple of weeks ago when Rahm Emanuel, President Obama’s Chief of Staff called some people “retards”. Sarah Palin wanted him to be fired for his insensitivity. She railed on this for several days. Then when right wing comedian Rush Limbaugh used the word “retard” not only did she not demand that he be fired from his daily comedy radio show, she said it was ok for him to use the word retard because he was use it in connection with satire. Oh I get it, if Rahm Emanuel had used the word in a satiric context that would be ok with Diva Sarah? If Rush had called the Democrats in the Congress retards do you really think Diva Sarah would demand Rush be fired? I think not.
Tiger Woods behavior was outrageous. It was wrong. It violated commitments he made to his wife and family. It has hurt him financially. It has turned him to an internet joke. But, I disagree with those that complain of the televised statement he made a couple of Fridays ago. People complain that he limited the press, that he took no questions, that he looked scripted, that he looked stiff, that his body language was wrong, that he read his comments or that he didn’t cry. Where was his wife? He wasn’t sincere. I have heard and read these criticisms since his statement. There has been talk show after talk show discussions saying he should have done this or said that. They have expressed doubts about his sincerity. Some journalists boycotted the event because they couldn’t ask questions. We live in a reality TV show society. We are in people’s bedrooms; we are with them in their most private movements. We see them naked, we see them argue, and we see them cry. We hear them talk in foul language. We are a society of voyeurs. We want the dirty details. We don’t want just an apology from Tiger, we want an apology and we want all the dirty details. Well, it is his life, his family and he owes the public no details. If you don’t believe his was sincere, who cares. I don’t care. If he plays golf again and plays well, great. If he doesn’t, my life is not adversely affected. I can tell you that I am glad I don’t have to justify the actions of my life to the press or the public. I have made plenty of errors in life and will undoubtedly make more. I am betting so have you and so have the press members who are so up in arms. I would like those in the press who want details (these “journalists” are by and large public figures themselves), to print details of their own private behavior, their own peccadilloes.
I know I have blogged about this before, but I still don’t understand why the US government is supposed opposed to profiling at U.S. airports. If you are a cop and you see a guy in a black turtle neck and a ski mask at 3:00 am walking around in a neighborhood, you know the cop is gonna ask him what he is doing, demand ID and maybe even frisk him. Why, because he fits the profile of someone who may be up to no good. I certainly don’t believe all Muslins are bad just as I don’t believe all Christians are good, but for heaven’s sake how can we not pay additional attention to the very ethnic or religious group that contains the elements of those who are terrorists who do want to destroy us. If we started getting a lot of blonde haired, blue eyed Swedish terrorists, then we ought to be profiling that group.
Many of you who know me, know I like to be light hearted and hopefully, kind. But I am very tired of double standards, political correctness, and to a reality show mentality of the society we live in.
Ok, I just took a breath. The next essay on this blog will be on the lighter side. Feel free to hammer me for any or all of this entry.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Crimes and Misdemeanors
A friend of mine who lives alone was asleep at 3:00 a.m this morning when he was awakened by a noise in his house. As he awoke, he heard even more noise. He got up, put on his pants and his glasses. He shouted "what is going on" and walked into his kitchen. As he entered the kitchen, a burglar ran out the back door. How scary is that. My friend called the cops. The cops arrived at his house and checked things out. They found the burglar's back pack in a basement window well. The backpack contained a couple of pairs of gloves, some tools, a bus schedule and a cell phone. Hopefully the cell phone will help the cops find this guy. It is surprising that the get away vehicle was to be a city bus. I can picture the burglar on the bus in a black outfit and a ski mask. The cops are in a patrol car behind the bus chasing the burglar. As the bus stops at each bus stop, the cops in their car, patiently wait in their car behind the bus.
My friend was describing the crime to me and a 65 year old woman friend who told us about a break in at her house. She told us, "I sleep naked and one night very late I heard someone in my house. I jumped out of bed and walked naked down the hall. I saw a fellow in the darkened house. My plan was to sneak up on him and kick him in the throat." For some reason, the image of a 65 year old naked woman doing a kung fu kick to the throat of an intruder, was extremely hilarius to me. The end of the story is that the intruder was the drunk boy friend of her daughter who thought the daughter was in the house. The other end of the story. I know the boy friend and have actually played golf with him. Next time I play golf with him I gonna take off my clothes and try to kick him in the throat.
On tonight's Salt Lake City news there was a story about a man who killed his aunt and dumped her body up a snowy canyon in Utah County. The alleged killer was the nephew of the deceased and lived at her house. His name was Damien. Did you ever watch the movie called "The Omen" or any of its sequels? The devil or the son of the devil, I forget which, was named Damien. After watching those movies would you ever allow anyone named Damien to live in your house? You know that nothing good is going to come out of that. When they showed the guy's mugshot he looked like a devil. Its like you would never try to pet a pit bull named killer. Would you invite a guy named Dick Cheney to live with you? I think not.
I just read the following story on CNN.com:
"There was no profanity, no hate. Just the words, "I love my friends Abby and Faith. Lex was here 2/1/10 " scrawled on the classroom desk with a green marker. Alexa Gonzalez, an outgoing 12-year-old who likes to dance and draw, expected a lecture or maybe detention for her doodles earlier this month. Instead, the principal of the Junior High School in Forest Hills, New York, called police, and the seventh-grader was taken across the street to the police precinct. Alexa's hands were cuffed behind her back, and tears gushed as she was escorted from school in front of teachers and -- the worst audience of all for a preadolescent girl -- her classmates. "They put the handcuffs on me, and I couldn't believe it," Alexa recalled. "I didn't want them to see me being handcuffed, thinking I'm a bad person."
Its hard to imagine handcuffing a 12 year old girl, a good student, a good girl, for writing "I love my friends" on a desk in green ink.
My advise to you: keep your doors locked, don't sleep naked and don't write on a school desk.
My friend was describing the crime to me and a 65 year old woman friend who told us about a break in at her house. She told us, "I sleep naked and one night very late I heard someone in my house. I jumped out of bed and walked naked down the hall. I saw a fellow in the darkened house. My plan was to sneak up on him and kick him in the throat." For some reason, the image of a 65 year old naked woman doing a kung fu kick to the throat of an intruder, was extremely hilarius to me. The end of the story is that the intruder was the drunk boy friend of her daughter who thought the daughter was in the house. The other end of the story. I know the boy friend and have actually played golf with him. Next time I play golf with him I gonna take off my clothes and try to kick him in the throat.
On tonight's Salt Lake City news there was a story about a man who killed his aunt and dumped her body up a snowy canyon in Utah County. The alleged killer was the nephew of the deceased and lived at her house. His name was Damien. Did you ever watch the movie called "The Omen" or any of its sequels? The devil or the son of the devil, I forget which, was named Damien. After watching those movies would you ever allow anyone named Damien to live in your house? You know that nothing good is going to come out of that. When they showed the guy's mugshot he looked like a devil. Its like you would never try to pet a pit bull named killer. Would you invite a guy named Dick Cheney to live with you? I think not.
I just read the following story on CNN.com:
"There was no profanity, no hate. Just the words, "I love my friends Abby and Faith. Lex was here 2/1/10 " scrawled on the classroom desk with a green marker. Alexa Gonzalez, an outgoing 12-year-old who likes to dance and draw, expected a lecture or maybe detention for her doodles earlier this month. Instead, the principal of the Junior High School in Forest Hills, New York, called police, and the seventh-grader was taken across the street to the police precinct. Alexa's hands were cuffed behind her back, and tears gushed as she was escorted from school in front of teachers and -- the worst audience of all for a preadolescent girl -- her classmates. "They put the handcuffs on me, and I couldn't believe it," Alexa recalled. "I didn't want them to see me being handcuffed, thinking I'm a bad person."
Its hard to imagine handcuffing a 12 year old girl, a good student, a good girl, for writing "I love my friends" on a desk in green ink.
My advise to you: keep your doors locked, don't sleep naked and don't write on a school desk.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Saturday
I am spending the weekend in Salt Lake. The sun is out but is kind of cool. I have been running errands. I deceided to make a meal in the slow cooker. Beef cubes, sweet potato, onion, beef stock and a few other things. I cook a lot but have really never used the slow cooker. In fact I did not even know where our slow cooker was. I looked all over but couldn't find it. I called the Lovely Sharon in Palm Desert and woke her up to ask where the slow cooker was stored. I don't think she was particularly thrilled that I woke her up to ask about the location of the crock pot. She told me it was in the hall closet. It was a very short conversation. Any way, I found the crock pot and I loaded the ingredients. After about an hour I went to check on it. I felt the side of the pot, but it didn't feel warm. I took the lid off and looked inside but the ingredients looked the same as when I put them in the pot. I know I put it on low, but it did not seem to be doing anything. I looked at the swtich and realized that I had not turned it on. That was dumb. So I turned it on.
Then for some bizarre reason, I watched women's curling at the Olympics. Despite curling being a goofy game and undoubtedly should not be considered a sport, I was totally into it. The US women were playing the Russian women. These players (or whatever you call curling participants) were fantastic. They had strategy, skill and they did that sweeping stuff. What is that about. When the Russian women were sweeping in front of the stone they were screaming. The Americans did not scream at the stone. I don't know if it is better to scream or not to scream. Since I don't speak Russian I don't know if their screams were words or just screams. It makes you wonder what they sound like during romance. The US, with no screaming, won.
After the curling excitement I went to the grocery store. I was walking down the aisle that had the cleaning products and paper goods as I was looking for paper towells. Since the Lovely Sharon is in Palm Desert, I could buy any brand of paper towell I wanted (see August 17, 2009 posting - "The Boss"). I was looking at the paper towells as I was pushing my shopping cart. I was not paying attention to a display stand in the aisle that had about 200 hundred kitchen sponges on it. I knocked over the display and now there were about 200 scouring sponges on the floor. My first words were "Oh sh*t." There was another fellow in the aisle who obvioulsy thought this was one of the great things he had seen in his approximately 21 years of life. However, once he stopped laughing he was kind enough to help me picked up all the sponges. The sponge stand looked kind messy but it was standing up and all the sponges were in it.
I got home and unpacked the groceries and put salt in the water softener. Sharon's mustang convertible had not been started since October so I got it going. I used the battery charger and it started right up. It had the nice puring sound of v8 engine.
The Neighbor's Dog got his treats from me and now I am just hanging out in my leather chair in the Bud Cave.
I was dusting a coffee table and knocked over and broke a beautiful one of a kind vase into about 10 pieces. See I knew there was a reason I don't normally dust. Then I broke a ceramic glass coaster. I should have just stayed in my chair and ordered pizza today.
NOTE- I don't always send a notice that I have posted an entry to this blog.
Then for some bizarre reason, I watched women's curling at the Olympics. Despite curling being a goofy game and undoubtedly should not be considered a sport, I was totally into it. The US women were playing the Russian women. These players (or whatever you call curling participants) were fantastic. They had strategy, skill and they did that sweeping stuff. What is that about. When the Russian women were sweeping in front of the stone they were screaming. The Americans did not scream at the stone. I don't know if it is better to scream or not to scream. Since I don't speak Russian I don't know if their screams were words or just screams. It makes you wonder what they sound like during romance. The US, with no screaming, won.
After the curling excitement I went to the grocery store. I was walking down the aisle that had the cleaning products and paper goods as I was looking for paper towells. Since the Lovely Sharon is in Palm Desert, I could buy any brand of paper towell I wanted (see August 17, 2009 posting - "The Boss"). I was looking at the paper towells as I was pushing my shopping cart. I was not paying attention to a display stand in the aisle that had about 200 hundred kitchen sponges on it. I knocked over the display and now there were about 200 scouring sponges on the floor. My first words were "Oh sh*t." There was another fellow in the aisle who obvioulsy thought this was one of the great things he had seen in his approximately 21 years of life. However, once he stopped laughing he was kind enough to help me picked up all the sponges. The sponge stand looked kind messy but it was standing up and all the sponges were in it.
I got home and unpacked the groceries and put salt in the water softener. Sharon's mustang convertible had not been started since October so I got it going. I used the battery charger and it started right up. It had the nice puring sound of v8 engine.
The Neighbor's Dog got his treats from me and now I am just hanging out in my leather chair in the Bud Cave.
I was dusting a coffee table and knocked over and broke a beautiful one of a kind vase into about 10 pieces. See I knew there was a reason I don't normally dust. Then I broke a ceramic glass coaster. I should have just stayed in my chair and ordered pizza today.
NOTE- I don't always send a notice that I have posted an entry to this blog.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Cool Men
There are a lot of men that I admire for one reason or the other. I may not agree with their politics, or with all of their actions or beliefs, but for one reason or another I admire these men. Here are some of them:
Political Leaders and Miltary Leaders- Barack Obama, Barry Goldwater, Ronald Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, Winston Churchill. Thomas Jefferson, Scott Matheson (former Utah governor), Tony Blair, Robert Kennedy, John Kennedy, Thomas Jefferson, Dwight Eisenhower, Collin Powell, Robert E. Lee
Entertainers - Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Harry Chapim, John Denver, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Humphrey Bogart, Clint Eastwood
Legal - Justice William O. Douglas, David Winder (Utah Federal Curt Judge), Attorney Clark Clifford
Others - Robert Frost, William F. Buckley, Walter Cronkite, Chris Matthews, St Francis of Assisi, Bob Woodward, my Son Alex, my Father
Political Leaders and Miltary Leaders- Barack Obama, Barry Goldwater, Ronald Reagan, Teddy Roosevelt, Winston Churchill. Thomas Jefferson, Scott Matheson (former Utah governor), Tony Blair, Robert Kennedy, John Kennedy, Thomas Jefferson, Dwight Eisenhower, Collin Powell, Robert E. Lee
Entertainers - Cary Grant, Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Harry Chapim, John Denver, Tom Hanks, George Clooney, Humphrey Bogart, Clint Eastwood
Legal - Justice William O. Douglas, David Winder (Utah Federal Curt Judge), Attorney Clark Clifford
Others - Robert Frost, William F. Buckley, Walter Cronkite, Chris Matthews, St Francis of Assisi, Bob Woodward, my Son Alex, my Father
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Friday
Friday February 12th was a beautiful day in Palm Desert. The Lovely Sharon and I had breakfast at Café des Beaux Arts on El Paseo, my favorite place for breakfast. Sitting in the sunshine at an open air window, as people strolled by our table we talked about our plans for the day and read the paper. Every time I eat breakfast at Café des Beaux Arts I have the same waitress, a French woman who always greets me with “Bon Jour” and when she brings me my eggs benedicts always says “Bon Appétit”. I do not speak French but when I eat breakfast at Café des Beau Arts I always want to spend the rest of the day speaking in a phony French accent. “Oh mon cheri”. It makes me want to sing like Maurice Chevalier, “Thank heaven for little girls” or “Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise” (you gotta imagine a very heavy, phony French accent, me making goofy French- like faces here as you picture me singing).
After breakfast we went to Desert Falls Country Club. The Lovely Sharon played in a golf tournament there on Thursday and she and her partner won first place and were awarded pro shop credit. So we looked around until she found a pair of golf shoes she wanted. By my count she now has 127 pairs of golf shoes in her active rotation. She will undoubtedly deny she has that many claiming she only has 90 or so, but don’t believe her. I know, inasmuch as I am the person who transports them back and forth between Utah and Palm Desert each season. If you did not read my blog entry about her golf shoes last year check out the May 30, 2009 entry entitled “Size 7 ½ Ladies Golf Shoes”.
After Desert Falls we went to the Pete Carlson’s golf expo at the Desert Willow golf course. The place was packed. There were tents from Callaway, Titleist, Adams and many others. There was food and music, golf company equipment vans. Oh yes , the object that is at every fine event was in attendance, the Port- a- Potty. These portable johns were lined up like little soldiers waiting to serve when called upon. At a crowded event served by Port-a-Potties, it always interests me to watch people in line. You have 5 or 6 people in line in front of each of the 6 or 7 Potties, waiting their turn in an orderly fashion. When you think about it, how do we all know the proper behavior for a Port-a-Potty line? We were not taught the proper routine in school or at home. We do not go to Port-a Potty Behavior seminars. We know we don’t sing or yell, or butt in while in line. We don’t ask the woman next to us “so what are you doing?” Even if we are gentlemen we don’t offer our seat to the lady behind us. We just know what to do. It’s just some innate, human gene that we were given by the cosmos that lets us know how to behave in a Port-a-Party waiting line. It is like we are part of some bigger cosmic dance, people entering the Port-a-Potty, people leaving, people moving up in line. Once we are inside we carefully turn the lock that causes the outside of the door to read “Occupied”. How embarrassing it would be if we did not trigger the Occupied sign and the next unsuspecting user were to attempt to enter the small confines of this portable relief station while we had unfinished business.
But I digress, I did not mean to venture off into a Port-a-Potty discussion, I meant to describe the Lovely Sharon’s minutes of stardom at the golf expo. She wanted to hit the new Adams Golf driver. So we got in line at the Adams Golf booth on the driving range. There were two hitting spaces assigned to the Adams booth so we had to wait 15 minutes or so for Sharon’s turn to hit the demo driver. As we waited, we talked to a very nice Adams’ Golf man who showed us the various drivers, utility clubs. He told us about playing the US Senior Amateur and the British Senior Amateur which he played in several times. I told him that Sharon was a very good golfer. Finally, the Lovely Sharon was at the head of the line. It was her turn to hit the demo driver. There were a couple of hundred people on the driving range and 20 or 30 in and around the Adams Golf booth. Adams Golf founder Barney Adams was helping the man next to the Lovely Sharon. The first driver Sharon tried out was not quite the right one for her. She hit balls straight with it but the flight was a little low. They handed her a different driver. She got into position over the ball, studiously considered the ball, her swing and the shot. She drew the club back to the top and fired through. The result was a work of art. She hit another ball and another and still another. Each one better than the last. It became quiet all around us. The Adams Golf workers, the people in line and the others on the range stopped what they were doing to watch this small blonde female pound drive after drive down the middle of the fairway; long, beautifully flighted shots. Barney Adams stopped instructing the fellow he was working with to watch. Birds stopped singing to listen to the clean crack of the driver head on the ball. Small children oohed and awed. One old man in golf shorts wearing black knee high socks, actually wiped a tear away from his eye, as though remembering an early time of his life.
I proudly stood there watching the scene, holding the Lovely Sharon’s black purse. Finally Barney Adams approached the Lovely Sharon and said "you should buy that club" and he asked her where she played golf. The scene was now over, people went back to what they were doing and the birds started singing. Sharon handed the demo driver back to the Adams golf folks and I handed the Lovely Sharon back her purse.
Without a word we walked away, to the cashier’s tent and bought the driver.
From there we went back to Ironwood for a round of golf.
After breakfast we went to Desert Falls Country Club. The Lovely Sharon played in a golf tournament there on Thursday and she and her partner won first place and were awarded pro shop credit. So we looked around until she found a pair of golf shoes she wanted. By my count she now has 127 pairs of golf shoes in her active rotation. She will undoubtedly deny she has that many claiming she only has 90 or so, but don’t believe her. I know, inasmuch as I am the person who transports them back and forth between Utah and Palm Desert each season. If you did not read my blog entry about her golf shoes last year check out the May 30, 2009 entry entitled “Size 7 ½ Ladies Golf Shoes”.
After Desert Falls we went to the Pete Carlson’s golf expo at the Desert Willow golf course. The place was packed. There were tents from Callaway, Titleist, Adams and many others. There was food and music, golf company equipment vans. Oh yes , the object that is at every fine event was in attendance, the Port- a- Potty. These portable johns were lined up like little soldiers waiting to serve when called upon. At a crowded event served by Port-a-Potties, it always interests me to watch people in line. You have 5 or 6 people in line in front of each of the 6 or 7 Potties, waiting their turn in an orderly fashion. When you think about it, how do we all know the proper behavior for a Port-a-Potty line? We were not taught the proper routine in school or at home. We do not go to Port-a Potty Behavior seminars. We know we don’t sing or yell, or butt in while in line. We don’t ask the woman next to us “so what are you doing?” Even if we are gentlemen we don’t offer our seat to the lady behind us. We just know what to do. It’s just some innate, human gene that we were given by the cosmos that lets us know how to behave in a Port-a-Party waiting line. It is like we are part of some bigger cosmic dance, people entering the Port-a-Potty, people leaving, people moving up in line. Once we are inside we carefully turn the lock that causes the outside of the door to read “Occupied”. How embarrassing it would be if we did not trigger the Occupied sign and the next unsuspecting user were to attempt to enter the small confines of this portable relief station while we had unfinished business.
But I digress, I did not mean to venture off into a Port-a-Potty discussion, I meant to describe the Lovely Sharon’s minutes of stardom at the golf expo. She wanted to hit the new Adams Golf driver. So we got in line at the Adams Golf booth on the driving range. There were two hitting spaces assigned to the Adams booth so we had to wait 15 minutes or so for Sharon’s turn to hit the demo driver. As we waited, we talked to a very nice Adams’ Golf man who showed us the various drivers, utility clubs. He told us about playing the US Senior Amateur and the British Senior Amateur which he played in several times. I told him that Sharon was a very good golfer. Finally, the Lovely Sharon was at the head of the line. It was her turn to hit the demo driver. There were a couple of hundred people on the driving range and 20 or 30 in and around the Adams Golf booth. Adams Golf founder Barney Adams was helping the man next to the Lovely Sharon. The first driver Sharon tried out was not quite the right one for her. She hit balls straight with it but the flight was a little low. They handed her a different driver. She got into position over the ball, studiously considered the ball, her swing and the shot. She drew the club back to the top and fired through. The result was a work of art. She hit another ball and another and still another. Each one better than the last. It became quiet all around us. The Adams Golf workers, the people in line and the others on the range stopped what they were doing to watch this small blonde female pound drive after drive down the middle of the fairway; long, beautifully flighted shots. Barney Adams stopped instructing the fellow he was working with to watch. Birds stopped singing to listen to the clean crack of the driver head on the ball. Small children oohed and awed. One old man in golf shorts wearing black knee high socks, actually wiped a tear away from his eye, as though remembering an early time of his life.
I proudly stood there watching the scene, holding the Lovely Sharon’s black purse. Finally Barney Adams approached the Lovely Sharon and said "you should buy that club" and he asked her where she played golf. The scene was now over, people went back to what they were doing and the birds started singing. Sharon handed the demo driver back to the Adams golf folks and I handed the Lovely Sharon back her purse.
Without a word we walked away, to the cashier’s tent and bought the driver.
From there we went back to Ironwood for a round of golf.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Utah
Utah, a beautiful state, crazy politics, and fringe wacko’s. I have lived in Utah my entire life. I love the State. I love the beautiful mountains of northern Utah and the beautiful red rock scenery of southern Utah. I love the west desert, the wonderful ski resorts, great golf courses, Lake Powell, Arches Park, Zions and Bryce. By and large, the people of Utah are very nice people and helpful to those in need. The State is more diverse than it is given credit for. I am at the Jewish law firm in Salt Lake. We have Jewish lawyers, Mormon lawyers, Presbyterian lawyers, Greek lawyers, anti-religious lawyers and more. We have staff members who are straight, gay, married, single, old and young. It’s a very diverse place to work.
In Utah we have the polygamists. We have an active gay community. We have right wing nuts. We had the Elizabeth smart kidnapping. Ted Bundy was in my class at law school. We have the biggest Catholic facility west of the Mississippi. We had the Olympics. We are the capital of multi-level marketing that some would call ponzie schemes. The last five or six mayors of Salt Lake City have included a Catholic, a non Mormon woman, anti Mormon and others of diverse background. There are 12 Democrats in Utah. When the Lovely Sharon and I are not in Utah there are only 10 Democrats.
Despite the wonderful things about Utah, many of our local and state politicians have obviously come from galaxies far, far away. We have a legislator who wants to save State money by eliminating the 12th grade in public schools. Can you imagine the affect that would have in 11th grade graduates getting into colleges? I imagine it might very well have an adverse affect on new business moving in who are concerned about education for the families of the employees.
We have a legislator who wants to save money by eliminating school busses for high school students. Maybe if we eliminate high school all together, not just the 12th grade, we would have no bussing or school expenses at all for this age group.
In Utah we had a legislative bru ha ha (I love that phrase a “Bru Ha Ha”), a few years back over whether we ought to be able to marry our cousins. If you did this for a few generations, you would undoubtedly hear some of the following at weddings and family reunions:
" Nice tooth” or “ I would like you to meet my brother-in-law who is also my uncle”
In today’s Salt Lake paper there was an article about a legislator who has introduced a bill to allow Utahns to own monkeys. I kid you not. It makes you wonder which citizen is pushing his local state senator to sponsor a bill to allow us to have a monkey in the house. The kids are home (if we abolish high school and busing to high school), we are married to our cousin and now we will have monkey’s scampering around the house. Undoubted next year there will be proposed legislation to allow one or more of the following: (i) monkeys marrying their cousins, (ii) polygamist rights for monkeys; or (iii) people marrying monkeys even if the monkey is the person’s cousin. Only in Utah
In Utah we have the polygamists. We have an active gay community. We have right wing nuts. We had the Elizabeth smart kidnapping. Ted Bundy was in my class at law school. We have the biggest Catholic facility west of the Mississippi. We had the Olympics. We are the capital of multi-level marketing that some would call ponzie schemes. The last five or six mayors of Salt Lake City have included a Catholic, a non Mormon woman, anti Mormon and others of diverse background. There are 12 Democrats in Utah. When the Lovely Sharon and I are not in Utah there are only 10 Democrats.
Despite the wonderful things about Utah, many of our local and state politicians have obviously come from galaxies far, far away. We have a legislator who wants to save State money by eliminating the 12th grade in public schools. Can you imagine the affect that would have in 11th grade graduates getting into colleges? I imagine it might very well have an adverse affect on new business moving in who are concerned about education for the families of the employees.
We have a legislator who wants to save money by eliminating school busses for high school students. Maybe if we eliminate high school all together, not just the 12th grade, we would have no bussing or school expenses at all for this age group.
In Utah we had a legislative bru ha ha (I love that phrase a “Bru Ha Ha”), a few years back over whether we ought to be able to marry our cousins. If you did this for a few generations, you would undoubtedly hear some of the following at weddings and family reunions:
" Nice tooth” or “ I would like you to meet my brother-in-law who is also my uncle”
In today’s Salt Lake paper there was an article about a legislator who has introduced a bill to allow Utahns to own monkeys. I kid you not. It makes you wonder which citizen is pushing his local state senator to sponsor a bill to allow us to have a monkey in the house. The kids are home (if we abolish high school and busing to high school), we are married to our cousin and now we will have monkey’s scampering around the house. Undoubted next year there will be proposed legislation to allow one or more of the following: (i) monkeys marrying their cousins, (ii) polygamist rights for monkeys; or (iii) people marrying monkeys even if the monkey is the person’s cousin. Only in Utah
Super Bowl
I spent Super Bowl Sunday in Palm Desert. We played golf with some friends on a beautiful sunny day. The golf round took a long time compared to normal and I played my normal bad game but it was nice to be out of doors on the beautiful Ironwood golf course. After golf we freshened up for a Super Bowl party at the Club. The party was in the Ironwood Clubhouse lounge with four televisions and lots of football fans. We sat at a table with dear friends and also knew most of the folks at the other tables so we walked around talking to everyone. I brought my camera and took a bunch of photos of the party goers and the staff. The Ironwood staff, from the Club manager on down, is a terrific bunch of nice, hard working folks who make it a pleasure to spend time at the Club. One of the wonderful things about being a member of Club is all of the wonderful relationships you develop. People you have grown to care about and spend time with.
The Lovely Sharon signed up for several squares on the betting board, won the first quarter score bet and collected a $100. She walked around with her cash winnings spread out like a poker hand. She seems to be pretty lucky in these things frequently winning drawings. One year she won diamond earrings and last summer she won a big haul of wine and alcohol.
Although the football game was terrific this year, the best part of the entire event is hanging out with people. I really did not watch many of the ads because of the loudness of the party but I will try to see them on the internet.
I took the following photo right before the football game started while I was standing on the Ironwood patio. You can see what a beautiful day it was.
I flew back to Salt Lake Monday morning and headed straight to the office. Back to work.
The Lovely Sharon signed up for several squares on the betting board, won the first quarter score bet and collected a $100. She walked around with her cash winnings spread out like a poker hand. She seems to be pretty lucky in these things frequently winning drawings. One year she won diamond earrings and last summer she won a big haul of wine and alcohol.
Although the football game was terrific this year, the best part of the entire event is hanging out with people. I really did not watch many of the ads because of the loudness of the party but I will try to see them on the internet.
I took the following photo right before the football game started while I was standing on the Ironwood patio. You can see what a beautiful day it was.
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