Meat Dresses, Ice Cream Cones and Witches

Here are some things I have been thinking and reading about. There is no order, no connection, its just random stuff that you probably won’t think is all that interesting, but if you have a goof brain like I do, you might.

Meat Dress. Lady Gaga wore a dress constructed of raw meat at the 2010 VMAs. The dress was actually made from thin slices of raw meat stitched together. The designer of the dress obtained the meat from his family’s butcher. Various cuts of beef were chosen to be part of the dress and her handbag. She even had a slice of beef draped across her head. There are many photos and a lot of discussion about it on the internet.

When asked about why she wore that outfit, she cited concerns about the controversial military law called “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” which was signed into law via an executive order by Bill Clinton in 1993. So let me get this right. Lady Gaga (who I never heard of before about three months ago) wore a dress made out of meat because of the military policy on gays? If she was opposed to the Arizona laws on illegal aliens what would she wear, chiles rellenos? If she opposed the nuclear policy of North Korea, would she wear a dog?

You have got be very careful where you take out a woman who is wearing a dress made out of slabs of meat. You cannot take her to a vegetarian restaurant; the other patrons would be on you like white on rice. Try taking her to a dog show or even to a park and you would have to run for your life from packs of dogs looking for dinner. You can’t spend time with her in the hot sun or the dress will start cooking. You wouldn’t want to put your arm around her at the movies; it would be like sleeping on a spam mattress without a sheet.

I think she is a nut and her dress designer is a nut. This was a very bad and sickening idea. I would prefer to see a sexy woman covered in biscuits or maybe pancakes. The Lovely Sharon dressed in croissants? Now that would be cool.

Christine O’Donnell. This woman just won the Republican primary in Delaware for US Senate. She is a Tea Party devotee. She has acknowledged she previously dabbled in witchcraft. She once said

“I dabbled into witchcraft. I hung around people who were doing these things. I'm not making this stuff up. I know what they told me they do. One of my first dates with a witch was on a satanic altar and I didn't know it. I mean, there was a little blood there and stuff like that. We went to a movie and then had a little picnic on a satanic altar.”

After this information came out, the head of some witch organization criticized O’Donnell by claiming witches do not have satanic altars. The witch lady said O’Donnell blew it and this could have been a good teaching opportunity about witches. Yeah I think we need more teaching opportunities about witches. Maybe it should be a required class in elementary school.

If O’Donnell is elected senator, maybe she could use “Bewitched” type powers to straighten up the economy.

Real Quotes from Politicians.

''His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she's- wait- your mom's still- your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.''
—Joe Biden, on the mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen, who is very much alive, Washington, D.C., March 17, 2010

''We had no domestic attacks under Bush; we've had one under Obama.''
—Rudy Giuliani, Mr. 9/11, forgetting 9/11, Jan. 8, 2010

'I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived. I saw it all growing up.''
—Ex-Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich, in an interview with 'Esquire' magazine

''I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday. I think it is a tragedy in the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown -- in this case a $20 billion shakedown ... I'm only speaking for myself. I'm not speaking for anyone else, but I apologize. I do not want to live in a county where anytime a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong, [it is] subject to some sort of political pressure that, again, in my words, amounts to a shakedown.''
--Rep. Joe Barton (R-Tex.) member of the Tea Party Caucus, during a congressional hearing with BP CEO Tony Hayward, referring to a $20 billion fund for damages that President Obama pressured BP to set up to pay for the Gulf oil spill. Barton, the biggest recipient of oil and gas industry campaign contributions in the House of Representatives, was forced by Republican leaders to apologize for his BP apology.

Kim Kardashian. For the life of me and I cannot understand the fascination with Kim Kardashian and for that matter, her family. She is not an actress, singer, author, inventor, business leader, athlete or humanitarian. She has large boobs and a large butt. OK so that’s nice. Maybe that is all that is needed to be in the news. In the last three or four days on The Huffingpost.com online news, there was an article that announced Kim Kardashian had eaten ice cream cones in Paris and Capris. There was even a picture of her lapping the cone in Capris. This is news? This is of such import to the rest of us pathetic slobs whose lives are some boring, so unimportant, that we want to read about some woman with no talent, no skills or to my knowledge, no contribution to mankind, eating an ice cream cone in Capris? Please I would rather watch the Lovely Sharon eat an ice cream cone or for that matter, a bowl of cold cereal. What happens if Kardashian eats a steak in Oslo, do we give her the Nobel Prize? Two days after the ice cream cone article, there was an article that informed us that Kardashian had purchased a $30,000 purse in Milan. A single purse for $30,000, are you kidding me? You can buy two $15,000 purses for $30,000.

I gotta quit reading the news, it drives me crazy.