The Lovely Sharon hates my shoes. Ok, she doesn’t hate all of my shoes, just some of my shoes. I have the normal shoes: black wing tip dress shoes, oxblood loafers with a single tassel, brown wing tips, oxblood tie dress shoes, and a gaggle of tennis shoes and boat shoes. I also have coven of golf shoes, although I probably have about 135 fewer pairs of golf shoes than does the Lovely Sharon.
The shoes that I have that the Lovely Sharon hates, is embarrassed by and avoids standing next to me when I wear them are:
I have a pair of Myjoy golf shoes that are putty and bright orange. If you are asking yourself what color putty is, well putty is sort of a grey with a hint of tan. The body of this pair of shoes is the putty color. The saddle color is the bright orange. I wear these shoes maybe 4 or 5 times per year. Whenever I do, people look at me as they might look at a serial killer. They don’t want to stare at me but they cannot keep themselves from doing so. Usually there is some confusion in their eyes as though they are not certain what they are seeing. When I purchased these shoes and they were shipped to me, the Lovely Sharon told me that she assumed that Foot Joy (the Myjoys company) must have made a mistake on my on-line order. I told her that there was no mistake, that I had carefully selected this color combination. After I said that, she just looked at me with a look that asked if I was kidding. I told her that I was not kidding. She just got quiet and left the kitchen. I later learned that she went to lie day on the bed with a damp cloth draped across her forehead.
I have a pair of neon yellow Adidas golf shoes. These shoes are solid bright, bright, bright yellow. I cannot tell you how bright the yellow is. It is bright. I did not actually select these shoes when I ordered them on-line. I thought I was ordering silver shoes with black highlights. When I opened the box after the shipment was sent to me, I was pretty surprised to see that I did not have the silver and black shoes but instead had my very own pair of bright yellow golf shoes. I don’t think I have ever seen a similar pair of shoes on any person or at any golf shop. When I look at the Adidas web site, it does not appear that they are even offered for sale any longer. Do you know what that means? That means I have a one-of kind, collector pair of golf shoes. They could be very valuable. I think I might leave them to Son Alex in my Will. “ To my beloved son Alex, I leave my bright yellow golf shoes”. I bet that would help ease his mind over my passing to the afterlife.
I have 2 pairs of multi-color boat shoes. I bought these shoes about 20 years ago. They are Cole Haan brand. One pair is off white, light green and light orange. The other pair is off white, light blue and light pink. These shoes are soft and comfortable. The Lovely Sharon keeps telling me to throw them out, but no way, I am keeping them forever. The pink and blue pair is in my golf locker. The green and orange pair is here at the house. I wear them to the grocery store sometimes. They fit in nicely in the vegetable department. These shoes may also be left to Son Alex upon my demise. He has to be loving the prospect of getting such a legacy.
The last pair I want to talk about has been ordered but has not been shipped to me yet. They are supposed to arrive next week. This is an emerald green pair of Ralph Lauren canvass tennis type of shoes. These shoes come in several colors but the emerarld greens caught my eye. The Lovely Sharon and I have had a couple of arguments about these shoes. I saw them in the Herrington catalogue and I thought “cool, very cool”. After seeing them in the catalogue I excitedly left the Bud Cave and sought out the Lovely Sharon who was upstairs working on her computer. I was pretty certain that she would love them as much as I did. Wrong. She hated them. When I told her that I was going to order them she told me that she was vetoing that idea. I defensively asked her how she could veto my purchase of emerald green shoes. Her response was “Because I can and I am”. She told me that emerald green shoes would not go with any outfit on the planet earth. I explained that men wore clothes not outfits and furthermore, that emerald green shoes would go with lots of clothes. She responded that they were not stylish. I told her that I bought clothes and shoes because I liked them not because they were in style or that they were acceptable to a fickle audience. We argued about the shoes and the claim of her veto rights for an hour or so. She thought she won. The next day I ordered the shoes. Here is a picture of them next to a red pair. If the emerald green pair is comfortable, I think I will buy the red ones.
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