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Saturday, January 25, 2014

Thoughts About the Super Bowl

My brain is always working. I am always thinking about stuff and I am always analyzing life.  What is, what was and what might have been.  The Super Bowl is only 8 days away. As you may or may not know, this year’s game is being held in New Jersey in an outdoor stadium. Here are some of my Super Bowl thoughts:

Why would the NFL hold an early February outdoor football game in New Jersey?  Why not Miami, or in the Super Dome in New Orleans, or in San Diego or in Los Angeles or Phoenix. Who was the genius who came up with New Jersey? That is like holding the winter Olympics in Saudi Arabia.

Super Bowl tickets are expensive and lots of those people attending the game will be wealthy.  They will be so wealthy that they have their own private jets and will, accordingly, fly in their private jets to the game.  The closest airport to the football stadium is Teterboro Airport which is only 2 miles away.  Apparently,  more than 1,200 private jets are expected to fly into Teterboro for the game.  As you know, once a sporting event is over, people want to get home.  They don’t want to spend 2 hours in a parking lot waiting to get home.  Teterboro is only big enough for 400 take offs and landings a day.  So after the Super Bowl, the rich jet owners may have to wait for up to three days to leave New Jersey.  That is one reason the Lovely Sharon and I will not be attending the Super Bowl.  We do not want to get stuck in New Jersey for three days.  Of course they are other reasons we are not attending the game, such as we don’t have tickets or a private jet.

The words “Super Bowl” are apparently trademarked by the NFL.  You may notice that when a store that sells TV’s is encouraging you to buy a new big screen TV on which to watch the Super Bowl, they refer not to the “Super Bowl”, but to the “Big Game” or to some other similar non-Super Bowl designation. The same thing with supermarkets who want you to be ready for all of the junk food you eat during the Super Bowl.  The stores plead with you to be ready with snacks and junk food for the "Big Game" not for the Super Bowl.  

The trademark is beautiful.  It keeps people from calling something what it is unless you pay the NFL a licensing fee.  I am seriously thinking about trying to trademark a few words and phrases.  For instances consider:

“You idiot”
“What were you thinking?”
“Please put the toilet seat down and watch where you are aiming”
“I don’t think your underwear belongs on the floor”

If I had the trademark for these phrases, the Lovely Sharon could not say them to me unless she paid me a license fee.  If she wants to call me an idiot, she has to pay me.  If she wants to harass me because my aim over the toilet was off a little bit, she has to pay me.  This would result in one of two things; she would cut down on criticizing me for these minor matters or my personal net worth and ready cash would significantly increase.

Further, if I had the trademark for a##hole or chowder head, I would be collecting big time money from my friends and from strangers in parking lots.

This sounds like a great idea, however if I am golfing and I hit my usual bad shot and say to myself “you a##hole”, do I have to pay myself?


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